How to make a Christmas wreath

It's inconceivable to think that we suffered a heat wave three months ago.  I try to remember the sensation of blistering hot sun on my face when I bundle up my little daughter for an excursion into the woods to collect greens for a Christmas wreath.  I remember swimming in the creek a few months ago, while I admire a frozen cascade of icicles decorating the same creek now.  Yes, winter is here.

The cold weather means it's sunny - a rare treat in our rainy Northwest Mountain region.  Eva and I took advantage of the sunny weather to collect materials for a Christmas wreath last week.  Fortunately, our yard is filled with hemlocks, cedars and firs, so the only thing we had to hunt for was holly, which we found at a neighbor's a mile from our house.  
Here is how I made our Christmas wreath this month:

Step one: Gather green stuff.

Step two: Try not to be distracted by the ducks, who quack at you while you cut fir boughs, because they are cold and hungry, and their water is frozen, and they want to be let out of their electric fence so they can waddle around in the yard.

Step two and a half:  Feed the ducks before you head in the house to make your wreath.

Step three: Head into the house for hot chocolate, then find an unused wire clothes hanger and bend that into a round shape.  Put all your greenery on the kitchen table and try not to get poked by the holly.

Step three and a half:  Grab a bandaid and cover the bleeding wound inflicted by the prickly holly.

Step four:  Cut your bunches of greenery to about six inches or so and bundle three or four branches together.  Attach them to the clothes hanger with craft wire.  Repeat the procedure an inch or so below to cover up the area you just wired together.  Repeat many times.  Beware of the holly.

Step five:  Hang your beautiful wreath by the door on a nail and admire it.  Instruct your two sons not to slam the door too vigorously, so the wreath will survive until Christmas.
Then go outside again, because there is rain in the forecast, and the sun is just too tempting.  Take your old, old dog for a walk.  Be grateful for your life.