I don't know how to say this. I've been struggling with it, wrestling with it in my own mind and heart, and wondering how to break this news to you.
I wrote about it in my other blog the other day, because there's where my deep stuff goes, and I want to share it with you now.
Sorry if I sound melodramatic. What I really would love are kind words of encouragement from you when you are done reading it.
It's so hard when our kids reach out beyond the cocoon, but it's even harder when that alters how we identify ourselves. Going through something similar as my Waldorf kid since infancy is lobbying to go to the local public high school upon graduation. The initial reaction was "no way"! But we have raised independent thinkers and given them the best possible start. They still have your guidance and value your opinion (whether or not they admit it, I'm telling you they do). Applaud their confidence and wrap them in loving support. Wave to the bus, eat some chocolate, hug a goat and rediscover solitude. In a few hours they will burst back into the house dying to share the day with their biggest fan.
ReplyDeleteI love that image of them bursting back into the house wanting to share their day. At least one thing is for certain: I will be excited to see them at the end of the day!
DeleteWelcome to the realm of teen-parenting.
ReplyDeleteAnd all the clichés apply; the "letting go" stuff, the "they have to explore the world on their own" stuff, the "they grow so fast stuff" etc...
It's like Kay says;"We gave'm the best possible start" and the rest they have to do on their own by themselves. And we parents can only watch, see them stumble and help them up when and if they let us.
As for the mental earthquake, I am trying the chocolate, but it is not helping me much these days. Not because of the children's side of the generational cycle, but because of the one before me.
Wishing you strength from across the globe.
Dear Ron,
DeleteSorry your parents are giving you trouble. I can relate.
Maybe you need to try something stronger than chocolate. Can you do whiskey?
Errr.... no, no whiskey. Don't like the stuff and alcohol is what caused all that misery, so I am extremely cautious around it in times of trouble or stress. So you might say my old man was a good example, even in being a bad one. Not that I mind a Jägermeister or anything like that around campfires. ;)
DeleteNo, I am trying to spend more time with my teens, before they leave the nest (the first one in about 2 years from new), try not to bicker too much (try that with a pigheaded daugher. No idea where she got it from), but also claim more time just for me. Leave it all behind for a long weekend or so and head for the woods, the mountains or just a meeting.
I share one of my gratitudes today: That I’m not living in Phoenix where it was 119 degrees yesterday, more coming!
ReplyDeleteBeen trying to make a habit of micro-gratitudes mixed in with the big ones, like health and relationships. Keeps it fresh.
Not to distract from feeling the feelings deeply, but everything and everyone needs a break. Even after a marathon runner finishes, they don’t run past the finishing line and do another one!
I’m thinking of you today, though I can’t really fathom what you’re going through.
Thank you, dear one! I love the micro gratitude habit. It's so powerful.
DeleteCorona, I have always admired you and your family, and even though these new developments are scary, you'll get through it. Teenagers will always test themselves if they have courage and your oldest one does. The other two may be thinking, hey, neat idea! I want to do that, too! Let them spread their wings a little. They may come back to homeschooling, they may not. You gave them a fantastic start. They are strong, confident, and more than capable of making good decisions. As for you, who knows what you can do with more time freed up? Although, you are quite accomplished now! Try to look at it as a new and exciting time. Look at it as an experiment. It's not set in stone. I have complete faith in you and your wonderful family!
ReplyDeleteThank you, thank you, Sally! I know... I'm dreaming up some exciting new projects with my time freed up!
DeleteOf course, I mean, Corina!
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry to keep adding. However, I wanted to add, the fact that they trust you and Steve enough to say this to you speaks volumes about your excellent parenting skills.
ReplyDeleteHi Corina, I can understand how for you this must be difficult and its ok to be sad, even I had a tear when I read that post. But even when they are at school, you will always be teaching them at home. If anything, you will have more to teach them because they will come home with some conundrums that you never expected to deal with (bless all the other kids and parents out there who give me and my kids opportunities for growth).
ReplyDeleteThere will be lots of activities that you could volunteer for at the school and maybe you could start a lunchtime or weekly class at the school where you teach other children or parents some of your skills?
Don't stress though, you guys will always be weird, even with a 'normal' days routine!
I also think its funny as it seems like a bit of reverse psychology may be going on, maybe try and tell them that they have to go to school, and then they wont want to go!
Keep us updated and a big mama hug to you. I bet even the animals will wonder why its so quiet. xxx
Jennifer, I love that reframe. You are so right... there will be all kinds of new and exciting opportunities to teach them stuff when they come home with situations they would normally not encounter...
DeleteYes, that's the kind of positive mantra you will convince yourself with! xx
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