My body has been bone tired from working in my garden, and my mind and spirit follow suite with the exhaustion. When too many things have pulled on me, sometimes I get to a place where I feel that I will crack, and then I get scared, because I fear that I will be lost to the underworld forever. (Also, my friend's wife died of cancer last week, and since she was German, they asked me to call her mother after the death. It has been very intense.)
So today, after milking the goats and feeding piglets, and after breaking down in tears after Steve left to work, I decided to go easy on myself. I tend to treat my body like a machine, and with all the things pressing on me, I push and push and push. (Dear fellow Mamas, does any of this sound familiar? Of course it does.)
This morning, while I did the laundry, I enrolled the boys in doing dishes, which took them 45 minutes. Instead of making cheese and homeschooling the kids, we all went outside in the rare sunshine. Huh, could the never-ending rain have to do anything with my depressed state?
Here is what ensued: I put up my Muck-boot clad feet and knitted several rounds on Eva's socks in the sunshine. The boys practiced acrobatic moves on the lawn. Eva happily brought me imaginary food cooked in her toy kitchen, which we pulled outside into the sunshine next to us.
Mission accomplished: a much happier Mama, and in turn, happier kids.
The rest of the day might still include homeschooling, or it might not. I can tell you this: the day included chocolate, which also helped my mood.
Later today, we will spend our day with these little characters. We got them last night, six of them. They are five or six weeks old and very tiny, but will be fattened up with whey, fresh grass and organic grain.
Steve brought them home after work. While waiting for him, the kids played hide and seek in the grass, painting each other with yellow dandelion buds. The best way to pick up piggies is to hold them by their legs, while they wildly squeal. I think it's much more dramatic for us humans than it is for the pigs (as you can see on neighbor Anne's face).
|Yellow Lukas, not because he has jaundice but because he rubbed dandelion flowers all over his face.|
In the meantime, the goat mamas and babies are thriving. Here, the mamas get a well deserved break from their offspring in the beautiful, lush spring pasture.
Flowers are emerging everywhere. The garden is growing. The rains WILL stop. Chocolate is easy to come by. I can do this. I can do this. I can do this.