My terrifying health scare

These past two weeks have been some of the scariest of my life. Usually, I take my health for granted, because I am super energetic and robust.  But when I went for a routine checkup, my doctor hit me with three concerns that made me dizzy and scared.

Two of them have been resolved, and it's fine.

But the third one has been heart stopping. Literally.

When the doctor listened to my heart, she told me that she really wants me to see a cardiologist. ME??? Healthy, vibrant, athletic ME? I thought I would faint right there when she told me my heart has a very concerning rhythm.

I've been feeling my chest thump in funny ways for months, but I've been to busy, distracted, or in denial the whole time.

Long story short, after an EKG and echocardiogram, the authorities established that I have a condition called Bigeminy, which causes my heart to beat irregularly. They want me to do a five-day test where I wear a “Zio patch” that monitors my heart activity the whole time, but my insurance doesn't cover it, so I'm still waiting to hear what the next step is.

Here's what I believe: I have put myself under so much non-stop stress, that my heart is doing this thing. I think that if (or when) I slow down, relax, de-stress and do less, my heart will in time find its normal rhythm. At least that's what I hope, and from my research, this is what can happen.

So I sold my goats.

Having raised goats for 15 years, milking them, making cheese, and basically playing with baby goats as my mental health therapy, these animals have been a part of my identity for a long time. You can imagine how sad I am. But it's nice to not have to go out to the barn every day, deal with the milk, cleanup and responsibility.

It's heartbreaking. Pun intended.

So that's where I'm at right now.

Keeping my head in the right place, knowing that I AM healthy. 

Knowing that I have to slow down.  

I've been working so relentlessly for so many years, and the thing is: I love everything I do!  But with raising three kids, having a varied homestead where we grow a lot of our food, preserving and dealing with all the bounty, teaching retreats, and being a life coach for women, marketing and promoting ... it gets to be too much.

This summer alone I've done more stuff than when I was 20 years old.  And I'm now 46, so age is another factor.

This summer, I canned many gallons of food: applesauce, pickled beets and dilly beans, chicken, peaches, nectarines, jam, tomato sauce ...

I hate seeing food go to waste, so I want to deal with it all.

And then there's the harvesting, wildcrafting, cooking, baking, medicine making...

And the chickens and egg collecting and cleaning out their droppings...

I don't want to sound like I'm complaining about all the chores.  Like I said, I LOVE what I do.  I love it!!!

But I need to start thinking about my priorities.  What is most important to me?  What can I let go of?

One of the stressful things about this summer was the smoke from the wildfires.  Finding time to be outside doing what we love was a challenge.  

So whenever there was no smoke and we had the day off, we hopped on bikes, boats or on our feet and enjoyed our beautiful Pacific Northwest playground.

Mountain biking to Cutthroat Lake, searching for lost hiker Sam Sayers at Vesper Peak, paddling on the Skagit River, going to the Methow Valley...

These activities all restore my soul.  And I realize this is all active stuff, which creates a different kind of stress on the body.  

I guess I'll have to buy me some yarn so I can sit and knit, yes?

Another thing that happened this year was the guys' fishing trip to Alaska.  My husband Steve took our two boys fishing in Cordova on Prince Williams Sound.

They brought back 200 pounds of fish, which will feed us for the rest of the year.

The boys had to miss a few days of school, which was fine with them!

They came home happy, tired and filled with stories.  One of them (and it's not a fishing tale, I guarantee you!) was about a Grizzly bear that got too close for comfort, walked towards them and caused my guys to flee, leaving behind their backpacks and gear. 

When they came back the next morning, the Grizzly had eaten all the fish my boys caught and left on the stringer.  

I'll leave you with these words:

~ Don't worry about me. I feel in my heart that I'm absolutely fine.

~ If I get any comments like "How dare you sell off your goats! You are cruel!", I swear I will delete and block that person.

~ As part of shifting my priorities, I want to invite you to join my Patreon site. On this site, I create content that's interesting, inspirational and educational to you (movies about homesteading, recipes, tutorials).  It means that you can pay as little as $1 or as much as $20 a month to support my writing, movie making and all the time I put into offering you content.

Check out my Patreon site here <---