Are you feeling it?

Is it just me or has the energy in the universe been whacky lately? Anxiety is running high in everyone I know, including myself.  As a life coach for women, I hear daily stories of overwhelm, burn-out and lots of fear.  A lot of you feel like you're drowning.

It's okay, y'all.  This will pass.  I think.  I hope.

You would like to fix these yucky feelings, make them go away, distract yourself from them (with work or food or alcohol or drama or Netflix or whatever).  Right?

You know what I do?  I go out into the woods.  I breathe, like really breathe, smell the fresh air, get me some heart-pumping exercise, and then stuff's bearable again.  (For an hour or two at least. If I'm lucky, the everything-is-gonna-be-okay feeling actually lasts til the end of the day).

So, my darling, if you are having a hard time and if you're not lucky like I am to live in the wilderness, let me take you by the hand and walk into the forest with you.  These are pictures from the other day, when I walked straight out into my backyard and up the hill.  This is what I found:

Can you smell the trees and hear the eagles and feel the sun on your face?

Another way to deal with the funk is to take a bunch of kids out mountain biking.  Our middle kid Luke is obsessed with this adrenaline-inducing sport, and as a former motorcycle-riding and hang gliding adrenaline freak, I know who passed the genes down to him. 

You can follow him on Instagram and see some awesome footage of his sick sending of trails, bro. (I'm learning mountain-bike speak, can you tell?)

The other day, we went to Darrington, a timber town 40 minutes from us, where a place called "North Mountain" is developing into a decent mountain bike paradise.  Luke's best friend Owen is equally obsessed with building and riding trails, so they're peas in a pod, winning over other friends as well.

Do you have any idea how my heart swells when I ride with these young people?  And I don't mean heart swelling with the pumping of adrenaline (although that IS a factor, let me tell you), but heart swelling with emotions to witness young people out in my beloved wilderness, enjoying themselves, bonding with each other, and practicing their independence.

They are stellar young men, is what they are.

I also took our little Eva this time around, and she and her friend (who is Owen's sister) rode a pretty challenging trail.  Following their brothers down the trail, with me in the back to cheer them on or peel them off the dirt in case of a crash ... another heart swelling moment.

Now that Luke is homeschooled again, he spends lots of time building trails on our property.  He is building so much, in fact, that his skills are getting recognized.  

Yesterday, he and Owen went to Little Mountain Park in Mount Vernon to a volunteer trail building day, where they were the youngest participants and were invited by the pros to come back next month and be the trail foremen leaders. I'm proud of them!

We also try to find time to go to Galbraith Mountain in Bellingham, the ultimate mountain biking paradise 90 minutes from us.  Last weekend, my husband Steve rode with Luke and Owen, while Eva and the dogs and I walked by the salt water.

The good thing about all the riding and fresh air is the amount of food you get to eat afterwards.

Sending much love to everyone!  Hang in there people!  Go out and get some fresh air and exercise!

Every day is Mother's Day

The weather vacillates between gorgeous summery days spent in the pond, and dark, gloomy, rain-so-hard-it-makes-bubbles-in-the-puddles kind of days. Many of us Pacific Northwesteners feel similarly bipolar. When the sun is out, we feel blissful - life is easy and doable. When it rains all day for days, we feel like we might need to be on medication after all.

For me, spring is always very intense. The work load is relentless and never, ever done. I desperately try to create balance in my life, and sometimes it works, but sometimes I fail miserably. I have learned over the years that when I hit the lowest low, it's time for radical self care. I used to believe that I have to martyr myself for my children, and I put myself last for years. Self care didn't exist in my vocabulary. I used to think I had to give my kids my ALL – my love, my attention, my life energy. When I couldn't do that, I felt guilty.

I now have three children, a farm, and several businesses, and I am finally over that concept of coming last in the equation. If I am exhausted, depleted, grumpy and depressed, I am no good to anyone. So last week, I took a 24 hour time-out. Just me, my bicycle, the RV, books, chocolate and nature. And wouldn't you know it? When Steve met me at the state park where I camped the next morning, I felt recharged and normal again, ready to be a loving mother and decent wife.

That's bliss, right there.  My bike, the river, sun, a good book in the saddlebag, and chocolate, of course.

Eva joined me the next day, while her brothers went on a playdate with a friend down valley.

A silly selfie.

So dear mothers?  I have talked with many of you - as friends, or as coaching clients.  I know that many of you feel like I used to: you don't deserve time off, you are selfish for even thinking about needing a break, you can't justify spending money or time on yourself.  Your partners or husbands might not understand how hard the job of mothering can be.  I am lucky with my husband, because he gets it.  But many men don't.  

I encourage you to be visible!  Admit your feelings to yourself when you are burnt out. Then do something to feel better.  Take time off.  Do something nice for yourself.  What would you tell a friend in your situation?  Many of us wouldn't treat a friend the way we treat ourselves.  Be nice to yourself!  Stop with the %^@*ing guilt!  You will fee so much more balanced when you get a little time to yourself.

Take it from a recovering guilty-beat-herself-up mother: You deserve to take care of yourself - and not just on Mother's day!

In the meantime, here's what happened when I was away: The garden and critters kept growing.  Garlic, asparagus, my little carrots, the pesky little goats, the adorable piglets...

This little beauty is not thinking outside the box.

Neighbor Rich feeding the piglets.  Or trying to.

Remember what I said in the beginning of this post?  About spending our days in the pond?  It turns out, my kids are half cold blooded.  The pond water is freezing, and yet they insist on swimming in it.  I let them.  After all, it's probably good for the circulation.  And the play in the water lets them explore and observe its habitat, which counts as homeschooling, yes?

Checking out aquatic life.