I shouldn't have worried. The boy kicked my butt and left me quite literally in the dust. I kept yelling, “Wait for me!”, and he kept checking, “Are you okay, Mom? Are you scared?” Because the truth is: I was terrified. This hike required hanging on to steel ropes and climbing up sheer cliff faces with vertical drops. Lukas kept reminding me not to look down as we pulled ourselves up and up and up.
You can tell that we sweated buckets to get to this summit. |
Lukas pointing the way. |
Descending one of the steep sections. I didn't take any pictures of the other steel cable sections, since I was too busy hanging on to them for dear life. |
That boy is always moving. |
He is wearing bicycling gloves because of the steel cables. |
The hike was worth it. Not only
because of the views, but because of the bonding with Luke. It is
rare that I get to spend one-on-one time with each of my kids, so
these three hours together with him felt extra special. I felt very
grateful for him, this child of mine that seemed on the brink of
death three years ago, when he contracted a rare disease that left
him with a heart aneurysm, for which he has to take aspirin and
coumadin to thin his blood every single night. Three years ago, when
he slept lifelessly in a hospital bed, hooked up to machines and
monitors, I couldn't have imaged him as he was today: red cheeked,
full of life, sprinting up a mountain, his wiry body marching ahead
of me.
Three years ago, when my best friend
Lindsay drove me home from visiting Lukas in the hospital, we saw
Mount Baker looming snow covered and large in the distance. My heart
was broken and my brain completely foggy from worry and sleep
deprivation, but I remember this moment very clearly: I looked at
Mount Baker and made a choice. I chose to align with the reality
that Lukas would be climbing this mountain in the future. I saw him
strong and healthy, very much like he is today. I made the choice
not to smother him with my worry and anxiety. I chose to raise him
steeped in adventure, nature and possibility, instead of smothering
him with my own fear. It's not easy. Some days, I fight panic when
I think what could happen, that he could die from a simple fall and
internal bleeding. Some days, I have to remind myself to choose a
different way of thinking, or Steve has to talk some sense into me.
But mostly, I think we are giving Lukas the kind of life he deserves
and craves. (Please remind me of this when I start freaking out.)
Yesterday, we also said goodbye to
Grandma and Grandpa. It was sad for all of us, since we had gotten
along so well. Our days with them were filled with heart-to-heart
talks, good food, pool time, and visits to knitting stores (Donna, I
already miss my knitting buddy!).
Donna and John took care of the
kids for us several times, so Steve and I could go on dates. Our
last date was amazing. His parents had sat through three hours of
presentations for a time share, and in turn received a free dinner at
a very fancy restaurant. They passed it on to us, and Steve and I
found ourselves sitting in a five star restaurant by candle light,
looking out a window at a lake with swans, mountains in the
background, and $75 to blow. We kept giggling at each other, and I
refused to get up to go to the bathroom, because I was worried people
would see my shabby pair of tennis shoes (I didn't bring any fancy
shoes on our road trip. Actually, I don't think I even own a pair of
fancy shoes...). Before we headed out on our date, Steve and I kept joking about our fancy vehicle, so I made him take a picture of me draped over our mode of transportation, pretending it was a red hot sports car.
This is livin'! |
While Steve's parents suffered through
the time share presentation, we went for a hike close by. Hiking
here is so very different from what we are used to in our wilderness
home. Here, the trails are packed with people, hiking or running
with i-pods in their ears, almost everyone dressed in the perfect
workout ensemble. The parking lots to the trail heads are packed
with new, shiny cars. I don't think we have seen one beaten up
pick-up truck here! Once the walking commences and altitude is
gained, you see golf courses, fancy houses with pools, and the
endless sprawl of the city. In the distance, there are mountains and
a layer of smog. You can hear traffic and police sirens, and
helicopters are often seen.
And still... this all has its own
charm. It's different from what we are used to, but it makes for
great people watching!
Wonderful pictures!
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