Thursday, November 5, 2015

My father is in a coma - please send prayers and healing energy

I'm having a hard time writing this.  I don't know what to say and how to say it, and how much to say about it, but I thought I would bring it up here so we can get as many prayers, healing energy, and positive vibes as possible.  

My father in Germany has been in intensive care in a coma for several days.  I am heartbroken, scared, confused and unsure of what to do.  My German passport is expired, renewal or issuing of an emergency passport would take time, I have my own children and farm to take care of, and it's very expensive to fly to Germany.

On the other hand, I want to be there to hug my father and tell him to wake up.  I want to support my sisters, mother and my father's wife.  

There is no prognosis yet, and all we can do is wait.

It fucking sucks.

It's my daughter's birthday today, and I want it to be all about her.  At the same time, I have to be on the phone with Germany or am locking myself in the bathroom to cry every now and then.  I did bake her a beautiful cake this morning, made her favorite bread for lunch, decorated and cleaned the house, and will host a party with her favorite little friend in a couple of hours.  I played with her and her new doll house and new toy kitchen.

And yet... I am ashamed to say that my heart is not fully in it.  I see my Dad hooked up to machines and remember the good times I had with him.  I think of the gifts he gave me: my love for nature, for bicycling, and for singing are all from him.  These are huge parts of my life, and I am so grateful to him for showing me how to love these things.

Well.  Let me show you what I am grateful for this week, while I'm waiting, waiting, waiting for my Dad to wake up.

I'm grateful for my children, and especially today on her birthday, for little Eva, who turned six years old.



I am grateful that we had a fun Halloween last week.











I am grateful for my goats, who cheer me up and keep me company when I'm sad.















I am grateful for our woodstove, which keeps us warm on these ever colder days.



I am grateful for my beloved 15 plus year old dog Pluto, who is not doing very well and might not be with us much longer.  I wish we could just have one crisis at a time.



I am grateful that the boys are so into the idea of running, which they started doing for exercise.  I love how it makes their eyes shiny and cheeks red.



I am grateful for knitting, which is my therapy and calms me.  I just finished this hat.



Thanks for witnessing me here.  Please say a prayer for my Dad.

16 comments:

  1. praying for your dad and for you. It's ok not to hold it together, even on your daughter's birthday. let there be grace to you. --purrs

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  2. Peace, love and comfort to you and your family.
    ((Hugs))

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  3. Dear universe, please watch over Corinna's father and bring him back to this world if it be your will. Please comfort Corinna and her family in this difficult time and show her the way to peace. With love and light, Renee-Lucie

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  4. Dear Corina, I see you and I pray for you and yiur father <3

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  5. Healing and loving energy and light for you all.
    Susan

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  6. Hej Corina,
    I really do feel your pain and am truly sorry for you.
    I think I can imagine how you must feel.
    The bit of contact my mother and I had again, was broken off, again. Without a word or reason from her. Just like that and you guessed it, in the time my oldest daughter turned teen. So hard to focus on that milestone for her, when one's head is filling up with other things.
    But it is what it is. I can not change that and I will probably never see my parents again. It'll save me a 4-day drive, but I wish I could just spend the cash saved on a planeticket from Victoria to Frankfurt.
    At least you have a load of good memories and he's always with you in the things you love to do. Like I said before, cherish that.

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    1. Yes, so true, Ron. Thank you for your sweet words. I am so sorry about the situation with your parents. Sigh. Holding you in light and love.

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  7. Many blessings of Peace to you Corina. It sounds like you and your Dad have shared a very special bond together. That is truly a treasure. It must be so difficult not to be there. I understand as I just flew from Sedina to Chicago today to see my Mom in hospital and that was expensive for me. I know he feels your big hug and healing from across the waves. I wish there was more I could do for you.

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    1. Many blessings to you, dear one. I am sending prayers and healing energy out for you and your Mom!

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