How to stay (or become) sane in the new year

The year 2017 was hard for many.  Since I'm an empath and transformational life coach, I listen to many people's stories and support them through intense changes.  My personal life has been ripped apart touched by lots of deep changes this year as well: friends with cancer, deaths of beloveds, supporting kids who just lost their mother to murder, transitioning my own kids from homeschooling to public school - to name just a few.

I can feel the tremendous positive potential for the year 2018, and I've taken steps to make it so.  I'd love to share my strategies for keeping sane, and I hope you'll find some of them helpful in your own life.

Go to nature

When things are hard for me, I find refuge and sanity in nature.  Of course, I'm lucky because I step out of my front door and find myself in moss-covered stomping grounds with towering cedars, scenic rivers, and plenty of wild animals to keep me on my toes.  

But even if you don't live in beautiful wilderness like we do, you can step outside and find nature.  How about putting your hand against a tree, even if it's surrounded by concrete pavement, and feeling the essence of this living being?  How about feeling the wind on your face, or watching a bird in the sky, or enjoying the sun or rain on your skin?  

A couple of days ago, we celebrated New Year's Day by driving to Fidalgo Island, hiking, mountain biking and canoeing.  There's nothing like a day in the cold to make you feel alive and grateful!

List all the things you are grateful for

There's nothing like gratitude to lighten your mood.  Even if it's really, really hard for you to align with the goodness of life, there must be something you can put on our list.  Do you have a roof over your head?  Did you eat at least one meal today?  Did a stranger smile at you and make you smile back?  Do you appreciate an animal in your life that loves you unconditionally?  Are you alive?

We lit a humungous fire in our backyard at New Year's Eve, and as I ate a great meal and drank homemade apple cider, watching my kids dance around the flames, you bet I counted my blessings.

That morning, the power went out, and we didn't have electricity to grind coffee, so my husband pounded the beans with a hammer.  The coffee was awful.  But wouldn't you know it?  Our friend gave us his antique coffee grinder, and all is well in our universe again.  Yes, I'm grateful for coffee.

Get yourself some exercise

Don't hate me for this one.  My friend Bo, a single guy without kids or any responsibilities, always used to tell me to exercise when he saw me being depressed or sleep deprived and juggling infants.  I wanted to punch him in the face, yelling that I was too tired or didn't have the time to exercise, since I'm not a single person without kids or a job.

But guess what?  When I did find the time to get on my bicycle, or fit in a hike or run, I did feel remarkably better.

Don't tell Bo that, though.  I'd hate for him to think he was right.

Honestly?  Even if you don't feel like it, get your body moving.  Dance, jog, hike, ski, run, bike, chop firewood, clean out the goat barn - whatever.  Do something to get the blood and thus the feel-good-endorphins flowing.

The other day, I felt definitely depressed.  But it didn't rain that day, and the sun finally came out, so I dressed myself in wool layers and hopped on my bike.  One hour of pumping my legs in the cold, cold air did wonders.  I was a different person when I got off that bike.

When we went to Fidalgo Island, we paddled in our canoe, all five of us with the little Foofy dog.  So fun, so good for the body, so good for the spirit.

Spend time with people you love

I happen to like my kids.  And my husband is my number one person in the universe (besides my best friend Lindsay, that is).  So I make it a priority to be spending time with these people, doing fun things, connecting, playing, bonding...  

You gotta realize that you are not alone.  Whatever you've been feeling, others are feeling it, too.  You are not crazy.  These are intense times.  And it's okay to feel psycho.  Don't let anyone tell you any different.

So go spend some quality time with your loves.  Be silly.  Eat outrageously good food.  Tickle each other.  

Here's Steve and Kai, pulling kelp behind the canoe.  I don't know why Kai is looking so grumpy.  I think he was pulling my leg, since he was happy the whole time.  Then again: you never know with teenagers.

Below is Luke's dirty face after splattering mud all over himself while mountain biking.

And this is Eva, my little adventure buddy who wanted to go biking me with me in the snow and biting wind.  Crazy chicken, this one.

And here we are in Bellingham, on another adventure involving beautiful scenery and mountains of food.

Hire a life coach, which means: me

We can't become ourselves by ourselves.  Forget the whole lone cowboy on the prairie fending for himself or herself.  We all need support.  And it helps to get support from someone who is trained and experienced in looking at what's holding you back, why you can't get what you want, and partners up with you to reach your intentions.

It's doable, yo!  You can get what you want, but you have to look at the underlying beliefs that keep sabotaging you and then evolve them and establish new patterns.  

I'd love to help you.  You can book a free session with me to see if this work fits for you.  I only have ten free sessions available, though, so book it now if you want one!

If you're scared of this step, head on over to my website to read the testimonials from people who I have coached.  Their lives have transformed and changed for the better - in huge ways for many.

I'm sending you much love for this new year!  May it be better than ever!!!

PS: Part of taking care of yourself also means taking care of your body.  I wrote a post about natural cold and flu remedies on my Patreon page here.  

Please subscribe to my new blog - it's even better

If you like this blog and the inspiration it offers, I want to invite you to subscribe to my new blog over at my new website corinasahlin.com. When you click on the link, just fill in your name and email in the pink drop-in bar on top, and you're all set.

My new blog is for mothers, but even if you are not a mother, and even if you are a man, you might get lots of value out of it.

My purpose with the new blog is to inspire, instruct and delight.  There will be hands-on information, multi media snippets like little movies, audios or written stuff - all short and sweet, because I know you are super busy and don't need more time in front of your computer. 

I sent out a survey a couple of weeks ago where I asked what you are struggling with as a mother, and what you need.  

I have received a huge amount of responses, and some common themes emerged.

A lot of you are struggling with Mama guilt, stress, overwhelm, feeling like not doing a good enough job and not being able to keep up, juggling too much, not making time for yourself, dealing with health issues because of this, lack of sleep, support or balance, and second-guessing yourself.

You are yearning for help, support, self care, rest, time, space, acceptance, joy, alone-time, self-trust, creative time, balance, a purpose beyond children, real connection.

This new blog will address these issues, as well as ideas on the things you listed how I could help:

- creative ideas for involving kids in chores
- sharing how to be imperfect but joyful
- teach mothers how to trust themselves
- self-care ideas
- podcast
- how to nurture self and family
- how things go wrong and how to right them
- how to do less
- offering hope and inspiration
- sharing resources and ideas
- connection with other like-minded mamas
- how to prepare healthy meals
- how to remain centered and happy
- behind the scenes from my life on how I do it all
- how to be organized 
- how to get through the day without feeling inadequate

I will do my darndest to share what I've learned, much of it the hard way.  I will show up like I do here: with a big heart, total authenticity, and a desire to serve.

So please come join me over at the new blog.  It's brand new and imperfect, and no one is there yet, so please come on over!

Or if you are ready to subscribe now, do it below!

A rough start

As a life coach, I help women find the unconscious patterns in their life that are painful, and I partner with them to evolve and transform these issues.

So you would think I'm good at this stuff myself, wouldn't you?

There's nothing like a vacation with all its expectations to point out where improvement in one's personal development is needed.  Ahem.

We are in Maui, where we all have cycled through a bad flu topped off with a nasty stomach bug. Steve and I as well as our three kids all had it, feeling grumpy, tired, sick and bad, so they've bickered more than usual.

Combined with a few days of pretty severe winds and cloudy skies, our vacation got off on a rough start.

Last week, one day was the breaking point for me.  The Air B and B apartment we had rented had matresses made of rocks, so I didn't get much sleep.  Steve, who can sleep on top of a moving camel if he has to, snored peacefully while I tossed and turned all night.

The kids found a huge black spider in the bathroom.

We headed for a hike and got soaked in a violent downpour.  I took these pictures seconds before the rain hit.

Back at the apartment, I stepped on a cockroach.

When we headed to the beach 30 minutes away, we got a message from the Air B and B hosts telling us we have to check out because another guest was waiting to check in.  There had been a misunderstanding with the amount of nights we booked.

So we drove the whole way back just before getting to the beach, packed up frantically and tried to find another place to stay at, short notice, on Maui.

It wasn't a pretty moment.

I lost my temper with the kids, hated Steve and his infuriating equanimity in the face of all this adversity, and entertained many self-loathing thoughts about myself, other people, and the injustices of life.

I was seething, ready to throw a fit and lash out at my family.  Then I noticed how bad all this made my body feel.

Right there, I knew I had a choice: be a mean bitch, or turn my attention to the little six year old girl inside of me who needed my adult self to turn towards her, give her love and attention, and hold space for her.

So I did.  I allowed myself to feel all the feelings, explained to myself that no, I'm not a terrible mother and wife, I'm just stressed because of various reasons.

After getting perspective and space around my feelings, my anger dissipated.  I felt the sun on my face, felt grateful for a husband who is Buddha incarnate, and admired a rainbow.

I'm glad I have so much practice applying what I teach other women, because my old self would have created hell for myself and my family on this vacation.  Breaking old, ingrained patterns takes practice, commitment and support.  It's worth it, and not as hard as it may seem.

Things worked out for us after all.  We found another place to stay, discovered more beaches and rainbows, scored some treats for the kids, and were kind to each other.

If Momma ain't happy, nobody's happy.

As always, my kids are my greatest teachers.  They teach me to be patient.  They show me how to be in the present moment - unapologetically, without agenda.  They demonstrate unbridled joy, and if they ain't feelin' it, they remind me to do yoga.

Luke practiced some yoga at sunset the other night.  It was so fun to watch him, and then see Eva join him in a spontaneous dance.

Let me leave you with images of our excursion to Haleakala Crater, elevation 10,000 feet.  It's supposed to be absolutely spectacular, but it was so lost in the clouds, and we were feeling so badly that day, it wasn't that mind-blowing view-wise.

One closeup view was amazing: the silver sword only grows near the summit of this particular crater.

PS: If you want to get on the phone with me for a free discovery session to look at your painful patterns and to explore how I can help you, let me know!