Do you want to be a better mother?

Okay, so I cringe a little when I say "better" mother, because that implies judgment and gives us Moms another reason to beat ourselves up.

But here's the thing: I've talked to hundreds of mothers, and when I ask them what their biggest pain is, they share they are afraid that they are bad mothers sometimes. They suffer from Mama guilt.

Do you? Do you feel guilty about not giving your kids enough quality time, feel stressed out, over-extended, pulled in too many directions, juggling too much, feel alone, fight depression, can't keep up, and making time for yourself is really hard... maybe you feel like you are cracking in half?

I hear ya.  As you know, I'm a mother of three, and I've experienced every single one of the feelings listed above.  I know many of you do, too.

This is why I want to invite you to my FREE webinar (replay available).

In the webinar, I will show you three surprising and easy principles and practices to go from mama guilt and burn-out to ease and balance between taking care of your own needs and desires, as well as your kids' needs and wants.

I have completely transformed my own pattern of feeling like I'm a shitty Mom, neglecting my own self-care and balance, and resenting the crap out of my kids.

I have beyond-successfully used the principles and practices I teach in my free webinar, and I've taught it to many women in my one-on-one coaching practice.

 

You want to feel balanced between taking care of your own needs and desires, as well as your kids’. You want to be a better mother and wife.

You want to get in touch with your own yearnings and achieve them.

You are yearning for:

a purpose beyond children

time for yourself

acceptance

support

self care

self trust

energy

joy

You want to feel:

connected with your children

acceptance

possibility

validation

inspiration

patience

peace

hope

You want to experience:

how to be perfectly imperfect

creative time

relaxation

deep love

nurturing

balance

space

rest

Let me show you how to get there in my FREE webinar.

Every day is Mother's Day

The weather vacillates between gorgeous summery days spent in the pond, and dark, gloomy, rain-so-hard-it-makes-bubbles-in-the-puddles kind of days. Many of us Pacific Northwesteners feel similarly bipolar. When the sun is out, we feel blissful - life is easy and doable. When it rains all day for days, we feel like we might need to be on medication after all.

For me, spring is always very intense. The work load is relentless and never, ever done. I desperately try to create balance in my life, and sometimes it works, but sometimes I fail miserably. I have learned over the years that when I hit the lowest low, it's time for radical self care. I used to believe that I have to martyr myself for my children, and I put myself last for years. Self care didn't exist in my vocabulary. I used to think I had to give my kids my ALL – my love, my attention, my life energy. When I couldn't do that, I felt guilty.

I now have three children, a farm, and several businesses, and I am finally over that concept of coming last in the equation. If I am exhausted, depleted, grumpy and depressed, I am no good to anyone. So last week, I took a 24 hour time-out. Just me, my bicycle, the RV, books, chocolate and nature. And wouldn't you know it? When Steve met me at the state park where I camped the next morning, I felt recharged and normal again, ready to be a loving mother and decent wife.

That's bliss, right there.  My bike, the river, sun, a good book in the saddlebag, and chocolate, of course.

Eva joined me the next day, while her brothers went on a playdate with a friend down valley.

A silly selfie.

So dear mothers?  I have talked with many of you - as friends, or as coaching clients.  I know that many of you feel like I used to: you don't deserve time off, you are selfish for even thinking about needing a break, you can't justify spending money or time on yourself.  Your partners or husbands might not understand how hard the job of mothering can be.  I am lucky with my husband, because he gets it.  But many men don't.  

I encourage you to be visible!  Admit your feelings to yourself when you are burnt out. Then do something to feel better.  Take time off.  Do something nice for yourself.  What would you tell a friend in your situation?  Many of us wouldn't treat a friend the way we treat ourselves.  Be nice to yourself!  Stop with the %^@*ing guilt!  You will fee so much more balanced when you get a little time to yourself.

Take it from a recovering guilty-beat-herself-up mother: You deserve to take care of yourself - and not just on Mother's day!

In the meantime, here's what happened when I was away: The garden and critters kept growing.  Garlic, asparagus, my little carrots, the pesky little goats, the adorable piglets...

This little beauty is not thinking outside the box.

Neighbor Rich feeding the piglets.  Or trying to.

Remember what I said in the beginning of this post?  About spending our days in the pond?  It turns out, my kids are half cold blooded.  The pond water is freezing, and yet they insist on swimming in it.  I let them.  After all, it's probably good for the circulation.  And the play in the water lets them explore and observe its habitat, which counts as homeschooling, yes?

Checking out aquatic life.