How I deal when life is rough. It involves chocolate, pumpkin pie, and lots of hugs.

I really wanted to write about how much grey hair I have acquired in the past month and why, but that would be too much of a downer.  So let me just say, I have so much admiration for us brave little humans, stumbling along, hurting each other, loving one another, trying to find our way...
Finding my way has been a theme lately.  I got a new smart phone and was playing with the destination finder application.   Ater a solo downvalley shopping trip, I typed in my home town just to find out how the device works, but since it's a straight shot home on a scenic highway, not much electronic direction-giving happened.  I drove an hour in quiet contemplation, marveling at how I have navigated this grey-hair-inducing past month of health scares, deadly shootings of innocent children, and disharmony with my husband.  As I reached home, I thought to myself that I will never arrive at being enlightened, but that I am proud of how I handled all the turmoil of this month, letting myself feel and cry in the face of so much pain and dealing with it courageously.  Contemplating how much personal work I've done on myself to arrive at this outcome, I felt a beautiful connection to the universe as I drove into my little home town.  Just at this spiritual moment, a voice said, out of the blue, "You have arrived."  For a moment, I thought this might be the voice of God, telling me that I have reached enlightenment, but then I realized it was my smart phone destination finder.
So.  Stumbling along, finding solace in little things, like holding my children close, forgiving myself for being such a bitch to my poor husband, enjoying the snow, smelling the freshly baked pumpkin muffins I made for breakfast, giving myself the day off.
So I am sharing with you what that looked like this week:

Steve striding out into the snow to feed the goats and ducks, so I can leave early and take the day off to go to a Korean spa, where I can recuperate and maybe relax enough to realize how mean I can be to him.

And this is what happens when Mama is gone relaxing at the spa.  Build large snow sculptures with Daddy and then put a lawn chair on it and sit in it, so you can break your neck.  Okay, okay, I promised to be nicer.  I will, as soon as I get back from the spa.

So what do I do in times when things are rough?

I eat chocolate.  I knit.  I spend time alone.  I eat chocolate.  I call my girl friends.  I have a kick ass workout.  I eat some more chocolate.  And I cook.  What is more comforting than nurturing your loved ones with food that you grew and prepared?  Here is a poached egg dish (thank you, lovely chickens), with fresh goat chevre (thank you, goatie ladies).

And here is a progression of pumpkin goodness.  Step one: Grow pie pumpkins in the garden.  Step two, bake them.  Then puree the flesh, bake the pumpkin seeds and make pie and muffins.

Little helpers supervise and taste test.

So, friends?  Remember to be gentle with yourselves.  Let yourself cry.  Bake a pumpkin pie.  Eat lots of chocolate.  And hug your loved ones.

Many blessings to you.